If you're a stone-cold psychopath whose masochistic gaming tendencies push you away from ... well, normal-people games and into the cold embrace of impossible games, then the unavailability of an English port for Takeshi's Challenge has probably been a sore point for you. We probably shouldn't encourage your self-destruction, but you should know that a few kind souls have translated the bizarre NES title for your localized enjoyment.
The localization comes from ROM modder KingMike (via Tiny Cartridge). Before looking into acquiring the game, though, we'd suggest you also find an English language strategy guide to help you, because this game was made by the Devil.