Nintendo's Anti-Baby Seal

February 19th, 2007, 18:26 Posted By: wraggster

via kotaku

The deadly flying wiimote epidemic of 2006 very well could have been avoided if only Nintendo had maintained the same safety standards it had back in 1982. Kotakuite Astrofox has unearthed evidence proving that the venerable company once dedicated itself to saving its products and customers from the vile infant scourge.

I just found my original donkey kong game and watch and it had all the documentation with it. You thought Nintendo of 2007 was paranoid, try Nintendo 1982. Stickers specifically designed to keep babies from breaking open the unit, and feasting on the sweet sweet batteries inside.

Back in '82 I may have been only nine years old, but I still remember the horrible things the packs of roving babies would do...the atrocities. Whole car batteries devoured as onlookers cried out for something...anything to protect their precious power cells. I shudder to think what the world would be like if Nintendo hadn't discovered anti-toddler sticker technology. We owe them a debt we can never repay, so the next time you take a wiimote to the forehead, you just thank your lucky magic stars that the batteries inside are safe.

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